


i'm staying up, i don't wanna come down from your love: luten/tencas (lucas x ten)

by fightinghaeyadwae (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band), WAYV
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Confessions, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Idols, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, LuTen, M/M, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, Mentioned SuperM Ensemble, Mentioned WayV Ensemble, Mentioned YuWin, MxM - Freeform, NCT 2018, NCT U, OT21 (NCT), Oneshot, Romantic Fluff, Soft Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, TenCas, WayV - Freeform, Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas is Whipped, Wong yukhei - Freeform, chittaphon leechaiyapornkul - Freeform, follows their relationship, god i am uwuing so much writing this, goodbye i suck at tagging, huang xuxi - Freeform, i didn't want to write explicit stuff so that's all y'all will get i aplogise, i swear luten are the cutest, i'm very proud of this please read :(, lucas - Freeform, mentioned jaeyong, mentioned luqi, nct - Freeform, sm rookies to turn back time, ten - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:27:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24904558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/fightinghaeyadwae
Summary: i'm staying up, i don't wanna come down from your love//first times with luten
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten & Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 9
Kudos: 65





	1. we’ll be seeing each other around, right?

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to my irl friends for proof reading this uwu  
> i really wanted to write about all of luten's first times, so here it is!  
> all of this is fictional of course  
> lower case intended, written in third person, povs switch constantly

first time meeting each other

2015 —— seoul, south korea

lucas gulped. it was his first time at the company building after he had passed the 2015 sm global auditions and consequently, moved to korea. he had just ended his first korean lesson, and god bless him if he could remember anything after that two hour long lesson because he had never fared well in school in the first place.

breathing a little heavily, he climbed up the last flight of stairs that he needed to and reached the practice room that he was instructed to go to. lucas’s heart was pounding in his chest from adrenaline and he paced around the door for a few seconds before gathering the courage to knock and enter.

he was immediately met with the blinding, fluorescent lights lighting up the practice room. he had arrived early from his korean lesson, so there were only a few people in the room. mark, a short boy from canada and born in the same year as him whom he had met earlier that day, kun, from fujian whom he had met immediately after arriving at the company and another guy.

he politely nodded and greeted the two, who greeted him as well, and he approached the guy whom he did not know. the moment that guy turned around, he was met with a stunning face. black hair, small face, a cute nose with a high nose bridge, small lips, cat like eyes and what seemed like a million earrings adorning his ears. holy fucking shit? the guy looked like he was carved and hand sculpted by god. he didn’t know what to do, so he politely bowed and introduced himself.

“uh, hi, i’m huang xuxi, but you can call me lucas. i’m from hong kong.”

“hi, i’m ten. i’m from thailand,” ten smiled brightly as he introduced himself.

“oh, my, my mum is thai,” lucas said as he awkwardly rubbed his nape while ten stared at him.

“well, xuxi, we’ll be seeing each other around, right?” ten had decided right then and there that xuxi sounded ten [;)] times better than lucas.

lucas could only nod dumbly as he felt his face heating up.

“want to stretch first, xuxi? i’ll help you.”


	2. you’re thai sucks, but you don’t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't speak thai so i am so so sorry if this was extremely inaccurate, i just needed ten and lucas to speak thai to each other for the plot to work  
> if you have any corrections, feel free to comment below !

first time going out together

2015 —— seoul, south korea

“so...xuxi. tell me more about yourself,” ten said as he sipped on his iced coffee, looking curiously at lucas.

“like what?” the coffee shop near the company building was relatively quiet at that time of the day, there was only one student falling asleep at a corner booth, and a businessman typing up something on his laptop at another corner booth.

“like...i don’t know, whatever you want to tell me?” ten suggested.

“uhm, for starters, my stage name is lucas, my chinese name is huang xuxi, and my cantonese name is wong yukhei. i’m from hong kong, my father is teochew and my mother is thai ——” 

“wait, i forgot to ask the other day but can you speak thai?”

“uh...yeah? i mean, my thai isn’t that good ——” lucas said, awkwardly rubbing his nape as he looked at ten skeptically.

“สวัสดี ครับ เป็นอย่างไรบ้าง? (hello, how are you?)” ten immediately spit out, looking expectantly and teasingly at lucas, who was sweating as if it was forty degrees celsius in the coffee shop, even though it was still spring at that time.

“ฉันสบายดีคุณล่ะ? (i’m good, and you?)” he blurted out. ok, calm down lucas. you can do this. don’t mess up your thai in front of ten and just channel all your thai genes and speak normally for god’s sake ——

“ที่เกาหลีรู้สึกเหงาไหม? (does it feel lonely here in korea?)”

“uhm...wh-what did you just say? do i feel, what was it?”

“oh my xuxi, i didn’t realise how bad your thai was, i’m so sorry ——” while lucas was suffering with the most adorable pout on his face, ten sat opposite him, laughing at the miserable giant baby in front of him.

“aigoo, it’s fine. your good looks make up for it. hey, did i mention that you looked like a cute puppy when i first met you? you looked so lost and so, so cute.”

shit. lucas had managed to make it that far into the conversation without having a mild heart attack because of ten but there he was, flirting with him. he wanted to crawl into a hole and die right then and there. ok wait no. not that, he doesn’t want to die just yet. but still.

“hello?” ten waved his hands in front of lucas’s face, “earth to xuxi?”

“oh, yeah. uhm, sorry about sucking at thai and all. i probably disappointed you, didn’t i?”

“no no no, it’s completely fine, xuxi ah. i understand. us multilinguals have it hard sometimes. now back to the topic of you. please continue.”

“i’m a 99 liner, i have a younger brother, i used to play javelin and i hated studying. I never really thought of being an idol before i passed the auditions, i used to want to be a firefighter. yeah uhm...i can speak cantonese, chinese and i’m learning korean right now. my english is limited. that’s about it?” lucas racked his brain for anymore interesting information to tell ten, when he suddenly smirked and added, “ah, and the most attractive person i’ve ever met is you, ten hyung.”

it was ten’s turn to gay panic and try and hide his increasingly obvious blush, which was creeping up his neck and turning his entire face beet red, while lucas smirked at him, wondering where all his confidence came from.

“uh, yeah, thanks, xuxi ah. right, so uhm, should i talk about myself now?”

“of course, hyung. i'd love to learn more about you.” 

“yeah, so, my full name is chittaphon leechaiyapornkul, but everyone just calls me ten, which is also my stage name. i’m from thailand but i have chinese genes as well. i’m a 96 liner, i have a younger sister who’s name is tern, and my grandmother was the one who convinced me to become an idol. i used to do lots of sports, and i really like drawing as well. i can speak thai and english, my korean’s not that bad anymore, and i know a little bit of chinese and japanese. ah, and the most attractive person i’ve ever met is you, xuxi,” ten’s comment at the end took lucas off guard and he almost choked on his drink, which made ten laugh again. lucas was overwhelmed by how perfect ten was, how his laugh sounded like a million angels harmonising together. he didn’t think he’d ever get tired of hearing it, but he had no idea why.

“hey, earth to xuxi? how many times do i have to do this, or is this a habit of yours?” ten asked, waving in front of lucas’s face yet again, shaking him out of his thoughts.

“ah yes, you were saying?”

“we’re leaving, xuxi. we need to get back to the dorms soon.”

“ah...ok. thanks for spending time with me, ten hyung. ขอบคุณครับ. (thank you.)”

“ไม่เป็นไร. (you’re welcome.) you know, xuxi ah...you’re thai sucks, but you don’t.”


	3. you’ll do well, i know it.

first time hugging each other

8th april 2016 —— seoul, south korea

one more day. one more day left, until all the hard work pays off. one more day left, until there’s no turning back. one more day left, till ten finally, finally gets to debut.

he should feel a sense of achievement, feel relieved that he was picked out of the forty over trainees that sm could’ve picked, instead of him. instead, he feels an odd sense of uncertainty. or hesitation, whatever he’s feeling at the moment. he’s not quite sure either.

ten wasn’t quite sure what the other members were up to, but he had excused himself from whatever group activity they had planned, with the excuse that he needed to get some fresh air. which was true, of course. he had just planned to take a walk around the area near the dorms, which was fine by him as he’d have some sort of alone time before any little bit of the privacy he had left was taken away from him when he starts his journey as an idol.

what he didn’t plan, however, was for lucas to have tagged along with him. he easily towered over ten, who was unfortunately, 13 centimetres shorter than the younger boy. they walked in a comfortable silence, passing by the shops that lined the streets, their bright, fluorescent lights blinding the passersby. 

lucas knew roughly how ten was feeling at that point in time. he’d only known ten for a while, but he was uncharacteristically good at reading ten. 

“hyung,” lucas muttered, nudging at ten’s shoulder, “hyung.”

“yes?” ten looked up at lucas while sipping his hot coffee.

“how’re you feeling?” 

“oh...”

“i mean, ten hyung, with your debut coming up tomorrow, shouldn’t you be with your members right now?”

“i was thinking that as well, but i don’t know...i don’t really know what to feel right now, xuxi. you get what i mean, right?” ten replied, looking up at lucas again.

the bright lights shined on lucas, making him even more ethereal than he already was. he was unfairly good looking, in ten’s humble opinion. he was enraptured every single time he looked at lucas, getting lost in those puppy eyes.

“ah...it’s okay, ten hyung. you don’t have to feel a certain way, you know? just let go, for tonight. you’re life, it’ll be vastly different, from tomorrow onwards,” lucas answered, after which he looked down at ten, who had a slight blush dusted across his cheeks, making him look cuter than he already was.

“t-thank you, xuxi. thank you for spending my last day as a trainee, together. i can’t express how grateful i am for you.” 

before ten could say anything else, ten was suddenly wrapped in a big bear hug, so, so warm, he thought, as they both stood there, at the side of a road. far, far away from their homes, but feeling oddly as if they were both home, the fuzzy feeling in their hearts growing ever so slightly. he snuggled a little into lucas’s chest, breathing in his wonderful scent and wrapping his arms around the younger’s waist. he could feel his heart beating erratically at how close they were to each other. 

the hug felt nice, but most importantly, it felt right. just right. like home, he thought.

“you’ll do well, ten hyung. i know it,” lucas mumbled into ten’s hair, smiling softly as ten giggled underneath him.

“you’ll do so, so well and i’ll be there to support you, hyung.”

he looked ten directly in the eyes.

“forever and always.”


	4. h-hey, your hands are cold? // is that a question?

first time holding hands

10th march 2018 —— seoul, south korea

“four more days, huh?” ten remarked, out loud.

“yeah,” lucas nodded, a shaky breath leaving his mouth, “yeah. four more days.”

14 march, 2018. the day his entire life would be changed. the day he would debut. he was feeling oddly nostalgic, which he normally wasn’t, because he didn’t find much joy in thinking back, in reminiscing what had already passed. 

thinking back to the walk he had with ten, the day before the older’s debut, lucas realised how much he’d changed, after three years. ten could sense something was off with lucas.

“xuxi ah, do you remember what you said to me, when i was going to debut?”

lucas nodded, though of course he didn’t actually remember it, like come on, that was three years ago.

“you don’t have to feel a certain way, you know? just let go,” ten said, smiling at him.

lucas laughed. really, he had no idea how. 

“how though, ten hyung?” he questioned, unsure of why he, out of everyone, was so unsure of something as simple as that.

“good question,” ten answered, racking his brain for an answer, because truthfully, he didn’t know either. 

walking side by side, they observed the cars passing by, the people rushing by each other on the streets. it really was quite cold that day, many people opting to wear long sleeved tops and bottoms. ten shivered, regretting not wearing his hoodie over the plain white shirt he was wearing. his hands were ice cold, and he tried rubbing them together to generate some warmth. nope, not working, he thought.

lucas, on the other hand, radiated heat as if he was a plate of fresh baked cookies, and he was only wearing a thin long sleeved shirt and jeans. he could sense that ten was feeling a bit cold (in reality, ten was freezing to death and just about ready to jump into the oncoming traffic because no, he refused to ask lucas for anything.)

“uhm,” lucas mumbled, not sure whether it was a good idea, “h-hey, your hands are cold?”

“is that a question?”

ten quickened his footsteps, looking straight ahead while walking down the street, when he felt something warm on his hands. he looked up, and lucas was right beside him, large hands tentatively wrapping around his small ones.

“oh,” ten gasped at the scene unfolding in front of his eyes, “uhm,”

“i, uhm, thought you might have been cold, seeing as you get cold easily and all that so i hope you don’t mind holding hands? i’m really warm and ——”

“yes. yes, xuxi. i don’t mind holding hands with you,” ten giggled at lucas rambling, a habit he seemed to have whenever he was unsure of something or nervous. they had stopped in the middle of the street because of that, so ten tugged lightly at lucas’s hands, signaling for them to continue to their destination.

“by the way, xuxi,” ten huffed as he half dragged a still dazed lucas across the street, “for future reference,”

“please hold my hands more.”


	5. wait, hold up. you were jealous? of me?

first time getting jealous of the other

april 2019 —— seoul, south korea

“hurry up yangyang, you’re taking too long, the show’s starting!” kun shouted over the loud advertisements playing on the tv, as wayv gathered in their living room to watch the broadcast of the first episode of keep running. lucas was of course, still overseas in china, filming for keep running, so wayv decided to record their reactions to send to him in the group chat as a surprise.

kun double checked that the camera was working, before wayv settled down just in time, the show’s introduction playing on screen. they all held their breath until lucas had appeared, in the suit he had sent a picture of two weeks or so before, proceeding to scream their lungs off at the poor, innocent tv. 

the episode continued, with wayv laughing their ass off and yangyang and hendery promising to annoy lucas with all the embarrassing moments when he flew back to korea.

ten, on the other hand, was quietly biting on his lips and fiddling with his hands, obvious that something was on his mind. xiaojun looked over, confused, and nudged at ten’s shoulder, mouthing a “what” and raising his eyebrow. ten shook his head, dismissing xiaojun with his eyes, and xiaojun nodded, going back to watching the show.

ten then left the living room, excusing himself to go to the toilet, instead detouring to the kitchen to grab a glass of ice cold water to calm himself down. woah, hold on there, ten thought. the scene of lucas staring at yuqi while trying to get her to down the glass of salt water just...ticked him off for some reason. he had no idea why, but he just hated the way the show had edited that scene, hated the way lucas looked at yuqi.

lucas and yuqi did nothing, what was he even jealous of?

ten was so busy thinking about lucas that he didn’t even notice winwin walking into the kitchen with a pile of trash, arching his eyebrows at the sight of ten gripping a glass of water as if he wanted to break it and staring off into space with a frown on his face.

“ten hyung, what is it? are you okay? you walked off just now to go to the toilet right? why are you here?” winwin asked, a slight bit of worry tinting his voice, looking at ten, who was frowning even harder than before.

“i’m fine, winwin. you can go back and watch the show. i’ll be in my room if any of y’all need me,” ten said, monotonous as he left for his room, brushing past an even more confused winwin and slamming the door to his room behind him just for emphasis that yes, he wanted to be left alone (to sulk about lucas, his brain supplies).

//

“ten hyung! it’s been so long since i’ve seen you, did you miss your xuxi?” lucas shouted when he finally returned back to korea and their dorm, enveloping ten in a huge and warm hug. ten breathed in lucas’s scent, snuggling into lucas’s chest, finally relaxing after not seeing lucas for so long he felt like he was going to burst the night before. 

“yes, xuxi ah, i missed you a lot,” ten mumbled, although a lot was an understatement, “a lot, i could barely sleep yesterday.”

lucas pulled away to look at ten, smiling at the older, ecstatic that he could see ten again. as he took off his shoes and started unpacking his things, he asked offhandedly, “so, did you enjoy keep running? you were gone for most of the reaction video though...”

“oh, uhm, yeah i did. you were amazing in it!” 

“how would you know if you were missing in almost the entire video? did you even watch it?”

“uhm,” ten gulped, not really knowing how to answer lucas after being cornered into admitting what actually happened, “yeah, about that...”

“just tell the truth ten hyung, i trust you. it can’t be that bad right? were you having explosive diarrhoea or something?” lucas joked, ten spluttering and laughing at the end, before taking a huge breath and muttering (more like whisper),

“iwasjealousofyouandyuqiandicouldn’ttakeiti’msorry.”

that was all lucas heard before ten bolted for his room, slamming the door behind him, much to xiaojun’s annoyance. (“i’m trying to sing you know, the least you could do is not slam your door, it’s going to break at the rate you’re slamming it.”)

lucas stood there, the most confused he’d ever been in the entire twenty years he’d existed on earth, deciding to get ten to explain himself because for the love of god, he had no idea what ten had actually said.

“ten hyung,” lucas shouted, knocking at ten’s locked door, “open your door please, i need an explanation, i’ve never been more confused my entire life god damn it.”

after what seemed like an hour but was probably only thirty seconds at the most, ten opened the door, face hidden behind his huge sweater paw, face redder than lucas had ever seen.

“uh,” ten muttered, sound muffled by his hand, “come in.”

lucas entered, sitting down on ten’s bed and patting the side for ten to sit down as well.

“so? are you going to explain what you said just now, or am i going to live the rest of my life not knowing what happened?” lucas questioned, hoping that he would finally get an answer.

“uhm, so uh. please don’t judge me for this, because i have no idea why i felt it as well...”

“felt what?”

“i was jealous of you and yuqi.”

“wait, hold up. you were jealous? of me?” lucas said, “that’s so cute, ten hyung.”

“yeah...”

“but what the hell, you got me worried, i thought you actually had explosive diarrhoea you know?

“why would you ——” ten said, about to scold lucas for worrying so much, when lucas’s face changed, from confusion to realisation in a split second,

“wait, hold up. you were jealous? of me?”


	6. you’re adorable when you’re sick, you know? // so you want me to be sick all the time?

first time one of them gets sick

june 2019 —— beijing, china

“ten hyung,” lucas whispered, nudging at the sleeping figure curled up on the bed, “wake up.”

ten groaned, sitting upright and rubbing his eyes as he took in the surroundings slowly. lucas was sitting at the side of the bed, looking at ten worriedly, a cup of water and some pills in hand.

lucas’s eyebrows were furrowed in such an endearing way that ten would have cooed at him if he wasn’t well, to put it lightly, having a headache pounding so hard that he felt like his brain would be mush by the end of the day, and feeling like his lungs were going to cough itself out of his damn throat.

“ten hyung,” lucas said, breaking ten out of his half coherent thoughts, nudging at the older yet again, signaling for him to swallow the pills and drink the water, “finish this and i’ll let you sleep again, okay?”

ten nodded, still feeling like shit and not exactly knowing what was going on anyways, swallowed the pills and downed the water that lucas gave him, immediately falling right back onto his bed, groaning as the pain of his headache spiked for a second.

lucas put down the empty cup before climbing into ten’s blanket as well, arms winding around the other’s waist, pulling ten closer to him. ten couldn’t even think straight because his headache had gotten worse again, so he resorted to snuggling into lucas, squishing his face into his chest and winding his arms around lucas’s wide frame.

lucas sat there, heart beating just a little too fast even though he was just sitting, in bed, with ten. definitely not something to freak out about, but then again, no. ten’s tiny figure curled up against his chest was more than enough to make lucas quietly have a meltdown right then and there as he quietly drew circles onto ten’s sides, until he was sure ten had fallen asleep again. he was extremely worried about his hyung even though he was just sick, it’s not like he was about to die or anything. but there he was, dedicating his entire day to take care of ten and asking the other members to go about their day as per normal. 

he made sure ten was fast asleep before slowly climbing out of the bed and heading to the kitchen. lucas didn’t have to look long before he found the container filled with kun’s soup, that had been prepared by the older before he had left for the company building, a note on it stating “for ten: i’m assuming xuxi is reading this, so heat it up in the microwave and feed it little by little to him, thanks.”

lucas followed the instructions that kun had written and heated up the bowl of soup in the microwave, staring into space while waiting for the microwave to start beeping.

he was startled out of his daydream not from the beeping of the microwave, but the shuffling of feet across the floor, and a very confused and sleepy ten appearing in the kitchen.

“xuxi?” ten mumbled, hands rubbing at his eyes as he shuffled towards lucas, blanket draped over his shoulders and onto the floor, hair even messier than when he had first woken up.

“oh, oh, ten hyung, i didn’t realise you would wake up so soon. go sit down on the sofa and i’ll bring the soup to you,” lucas instructed, hurriedly opening the microwave and taking out the soup and a spoon from the dishwasher, heading over to where ten had curled himself up on the sofa, blanket bunched up until ten’s chin.

lucas sat down gently onto the sofa, placing the bowl of soup onto the coffee table and turning to ten, who was staring at lucas absentmindedly while playing with the corner of his blanket. lucas smiled a little at the state ten was in, before feeding ten some soup, little by little, as kun had instructed him to. ten drank it quietly without saying anything and looked up at lucas, who was so focused on feeding ten that he didn’t notice the other staring at him.

“you’re adorable when you’re sick, you know?” lucas mumbled, not really paying attention to anything in particular, but still noticing the utter confusion on ten’s face, ten scrunching up his nose and eyebrows adorably.

“so you want me to be sick all the time?” he blurted out, much to lucas’s amusement. 

“of course not, hyung. i just thought you were really cute and clingy when you’re sick, and i never got to take care of you by myself until today, so i never really noticed.” 

if ten wasn’t more alert than he was when he had just woken up, he wouldn’t have caught the next few words that had slipped out of lucas’s mouth.

“but i really like it...” lucas whispered, more to himself than anything, only realising that ten had noticed when he looked over at ten, and saw the biggest smile on ten’s face.

“you like me being cute and clingy, don’t you xuxi?”


	7. so you want to sleep with me?

first time sleeping together

end of 2019 —— dubai, uae

“who is it?” 

“xuxi ah...it’s me.”

“oh...ten hyung. why are you here...?”

lucas sat up groggily in his bed, a mess if you would call it that. clothes strewn everywhere, bag placed haphazardly on the edge of a chair and the blanket all over the place. he rubbed his eyes as it adjusted to the darkness and found ten shuffling towards him, dressed in his oversized pajamas and his hot pink nike slippers.

“i couldn’t sleep and i really need to...i barely slept last night before we took the plane to dubai.”

“oh, ok. uhm, so you want to sleep with me?”

lucas was still half asleep, not realising the implications behind what he had just muttered to ten. ten, however, was wide awake, and hearing the words “sleep with me” was definitely not going to help him fall asleep.

“uhm, yeah...i guess?” 

ten let out a soft giggle as lucas shifted to the left side of the queen sized bed and lifted the blanket for ten to crawl in. that was when ten realised that lucas was, well, to go straight to the point, half naked. 

of course, he knew lucas slept half naked like basically every night, even though they’ve never slept together before, but that still didn’t prepare him for the sight before him. while lucas was busy organising everything on his bed so that ten could sleep comfortably with him, ten admired him in the dark. he looked at him, really looked at him whenever lucas wasn’t looking in his direction, and studied every part of him. from his sharp jawline, big eyes, big ears, big hands, his nose, his lips, his abs, everything. he took his time, until lucas lied back down and pulled ten with him.

ten immediately melted into lucas’s hug, breathing in his scent. damn, he never knew how nice sleeping with lucas would be. yes, he had imagined that exact scene in a million different ways while trying to fall asleep before but never...like that. lucas turned over to his side and spooned ten, his long arms wrapping around ten’s torso, pulling the older closer to him until they were basically sticking to each other.

apparently lucas hadn’t fallen asleep, because when ten turned around to face him, he opened his eyes and stared at him.

“ten hyung...go to sleep please, you need it,” lucas whispered in a hoarse voice which all the more distracted ten, and before he could open his mouth to say something, he felt lucas pushing him into his shoulders and snuggling with him.

“god, hyung just...wait, do you have uhm, anything you want to talk to me about? maybe that can help you sleep better.”

“uhm...you see uh. i’ve just been worrying about, i don’t know, like...everything? i’m so sorry xuxi we should probably just go to sleep, you don’t need to deal with my problems.”

“but i want to.”

“oh.”

“it’s ok ten-hyung, whatever you’re worrying about, it’ll be fine. you know it. i know it. everybody around you knows it. you’re amazing, hyung. you’re so talented at everything and i don’t think you need to worry too much about anything.”

“thank you, xuxi. i, i don’t know what i’d do without you...”

at that, lucas left out a soft laugh and ten couldn’t help but snuggle even closer to him. lucas thought he looked like a tiny adorable cat, snuggled up in his arms.

“wait, what will the managers do if they find us like this?”

“it’s ok, i made sure to lock both our rooms to make it seem like we’re sleeping in our own rooms and anyways, you know manager wong favours you.”


	8. you’re an idiot, you know? i wouldn’t have it any other way though.

first time confessing + kissing

11th november 2019 —— new york city, usa

“thank you all so much for coming tonight!” 

“we’ll be back soon!”

“thank you, see you again!”

“goodbye, we are superm!”

//

the deafening roar of the crowd was still ringing in ten’s ears, the last leg of superm’s tour in 2019 finally coming to an end. he was beyond happy to have had the chance to perform in front of so many american fans as a member of superm, to have his first tour be with superm. he grinned to himself as he was ushered off somewhere to change out of his performance outfits, and prepare to return to their hotel.

as he stepped out of the room in a plain white shirt and grey sweatpants, his eyes found lucas’s across the room, a twinkle in his eye as he raised a can of coffee in his direction, signaling for him to go and take it.

“hi,” ten breathed out, partly from still being breathless from their performances, and partly from being able to admire lucas up close, stage makeup still glittering on the taller’s face, defining his features and making it harder for ten to breathe, “xuxi.”

“hello, ten hyung,” lucas replied, grinning widely as ten took a sip of coffee, “you did amazing during the performance.”

“i’m sure you were better than me, xuxi ah. you were absolutely spectacular on stage. i was watching your solo performance and i think you’ve improved so much, you know?”

“o-oh, thanks ten hyung. i should be the one complimenting you more, but thanks,” lucas seemed to have thought of something suddenly, eyes shifting nervously around the slightly crowded room, “uhm, i kind of have something to tell you, would you mind if we went somewhere else to talk?”

“sure, whatever you want, xuxi,” ten answered, following lucas into an empty dressing room.

“so,” lucas mumbled, even more hesitant than he was when he asked to find a less crowded place to talk, “uh.”

“so?”

lucas moved forward suddenly, the proximity causing ten to back up into the nearest wall, shocked.

“i...well, how do you put this?”

ten’s heart pounded, he could feel the blood rushing up to his face, hell, he was shaking and he had no idea why. he had no idea what to expect, and the cluelessness scared him. it scared the living shit out of him. he knew he could trust his gut feeling 99% of the time, but why did he feel like this was the 1% of time he couldn’t? 

lucas, on the other hand, was sweating more than he was when they’d just gotten off stage, which, mind you, is a lot. his brain was running on the one cup of coffee he had in the morning and whatever adrenaline still left running in his body, and he had zero idea what he was planning on doing when he asked to speak to ten privately. god, he sucked at thinking things through, and now he was stuck here, cornering ten into the wall of a dressing room backstage of their last leg of tour.

“i like you,” lucas said, as slowly as he could even though his mind and heart were racing at a thousand miles per second, “not as friends. i really like you, god i love you, ten.”

“oh.”

lucas’s heart continued thudding in his chest, eyes searching ten’s face for any signs of a rejection.

before ten could continue, lucas closed the gap between them, pausing right when his lips grazed ten’s, before finally, finally kissing ten like he’d wanted to ever since he’d realised he’d fallen hard for the older, and oh——that was nice. why hadn’t they done this earlier? ten tasted like the cherry chapstick he’d always worn and everything lucas had ever wanted, and ten responded eagerly, immediately melting in lucas’s arms. the two kissed slowly, taking their time to memorise each other’s lips, ten’s arms around lucas’s neck and lucas’s arms around ten’s waist.

they only pulled away when ten had nudged at lucas, gasping for air and his face flushed.

“i like you too, xuxi ah,” ten whispered, forehead against lucas’s, staring into the other’s eyes, “i can’t believe it took us this long.”

“i was just scared that you didn’t feel the same way as i did, i mean look at you, sometimes i feel like i don’t deserve you, you know?”

ten shook his head in disbelief. how could an angel like lucas not think he deserved everything and so much more?

“you’re an idiot, you know? i wouldn’t have it any other way though.”


	9. my giant baby, would you go out with me?

first official date

end of 2019 —— seoul, south korea

“my giant baby, would you go out with me? i’ll come pick you up at our dorm at 12.” 

scribbled on a pink sticky note with hearts all around it, addressed to lucas. 

lucas grinned, remembering the topic they were discussing a few days ago: an ideal first date.

of course, lucas and ten had gone on multiple dates over the years of knowing each other, but they hadn’t gone on an official one since they’d kissed each other after the last leg of superm’s tour.

a date at the beach? a date at a coffee shop? a date at the movies? lucas had made it clear that he didn’t care where they went, he just wanted to spend time with his ten hyung.

it was a sunday and lucas hadn’t planned to do anything in particular that day, having woken up especially late at 11 compared to on weekdays, and decided he deserved to rest until ten came to pick him up.

lucas lounged around the house, occasionally entering yangyang’s room to annoy him while he played league of legends with hendery, and soon almost an hour had passed.

he started getting fidgety while pondering over what to wear because holy shit, it really was his first official date with the man he was head over heels for. right. oh no.

“yangyang, come here and help me please,” lucas shouted, “yangyang!”

“what? this better be important because i’m sacrificing my precious gaming time, you know,” yangyang said, bounding into lucas’s room.

“i, uhm, i need your help with, what should i wear?”

“why? and for what occasion? why are you even asking me, you have no problem styling yourself, do you?”

“oh, uh...ten’s taking me out to go somewhere, and i have no idea where so maybe casual but not too casual or something? i really don’t know...”

“ah...ten’s taking you out later?”’ yangyang mumbled, a smirk playing on his lips as he flipped through lucas’s closet, “here, wear this and tuck the front in, pair it with that bucket hat and your white sneakers.”

lucas nodded in thanks, and waved yangyang away so that he could change.

“good luck on your date, xuxi!” 

“it’s not a date ——”

yangyang poked his head back into the room, “whatever you say, xuxi.”

lucas was going to kill him one day, so much for maknae privileges.

//

“hi hi, xuxi ah, where are you~” 

lucas ran out of his room immediately after changing and hearing ten’s voice, heart beating in anticipation. ten stood at the door, smiling, in his normal dance clothes, a bucket hat and his hot pink sandals. lucas waited while ten changed out of his sandals and into a pair of sneakers.

“ready to go?” ten asked, ushering lucas out of the dorms and closing the door behind him.

lucas nodded, hands brushing against ten’s before he held them, and ten laughed shyly. lucas followed as ten led the way, walking to a nearby coffee shop, when lucas realised that, oh fuck, that was the coffee shop they’d went to when they first went out together.

ten grinned knowingly at lucas, and they entered the coffee shop together. they sat down at a seat far away from any windows and at the corner of the shop after ordering and finally pulling down their masks. 

“uh, so...are we like, boyfriends now? like, what are we?” lucas questioned hesitantly, looking at ten.

ten hummed in response, taking another sip from his drink before answering, “what do you want us to be? i mean, i guess we are?”

“aren’t we like, not allowed to date? not just the company, but we are both guys...”

“aiyo, xuxi ah, look at winwin and yuta hyung, jaehyun and taeyong hyung, and all of them, it’s fine, just make sure no one finds out, okay? we’ll be fine, i promise.”

lucas nodded, happy that he could finally call ten his, even if no one else could know. his heart ached looking at ten, how such a perfect human could exist he had no idea, but he was sure that they loved each other and that was enough for the time being.

ten looked up from his phone, noticing that lucas was staring at him again, before breaking out into a grin as well.

“anyways, i like me better when i’m with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, the last line was a reference to lauv's song "i like me better" haha


	10. what in the name of jesus fucking christ —

first time someone found out + the subsequent members finding out

end of 2019 —— seoul, south korea

ten’s eyes fluttered open at the sound of banging around the house, before a disgruntled kun barges into his room. bad idea.

ten straddling lucas on bed and biting at his neck, was exactly the opposite of what kun had expected when he barged into ten’s room, complaining yet again about how “nobody in this god damn household knows how to organise their shit where the fuck did the hairdryer go ——”. yes, definitely not what he expected.

“oh,” kun gasped, “y’all?” 

lucas had turned beet red, huge hands covering his face in embarrassment while ten continued straddling lucas, eyes shooting daggers at kun.

“what do you want kun ge? if you can’t tell already, xuxi and i are kind of busy right now,” ten snapped, “hurry up, we don’t have all day you know.”

“oh, i just wanted to know if y’all knew where the hairdryer was, y’all can get back to what you were, uhm, doing...” kun said, slowly backing out of the room warily.

“thank you, and by the way, the hairdryer is somewhere on yangyang’s bed, he was using it yesterday.” ten supplied, before going right back to an even redder lucas, licking at his lips again.

“should’ve expected that, should’ve seen it coming you dumbass...” kun muttered to himself as he walked out, fully intent on cleansing his eyes with bleach, if he could just find where that went as well.

//

“what in the name of jesus fucking christ ——”

“yangyang, get the fuck out, what the hell,” ten huffed, annoyed that this was the second time someone had walked in on him and lucas that day. so the universe had decided for all the members to find out today, huh? ten sat on the kitchen counter, legs wrapped around lucas, in the middle of a heated make out session. they’d always been able to find some sort of privacy when they wanted to, but that day was different, unfortunately.

“what is this? ten hyung? xuxi? when? holy shit, i knew it. hendery, hendery i won, hand over the damn cash ——” yangyang shouted, pouring himself a glass of water from the fridge, almost missing the glass, busy staring at the two in both shock and delight.

“since forever, yangyang. hold on, you were betting with hendery? i swear i will get back at you two soon, watch me.” ten threatened, causing yangyang to run off to hendery’s room, fully ready to take whatever amount of cash they had bet.

lucas was grinning at ten’s annoyed face, gushing at how cute ten was when he was annoyed.

“can you believe the nerve of them, xuxi? i swear ——” ten was cut off by lucas kissing him again, softly on the lips, an even wider grin spreading on his face.

“just ignore them, ten. it’s funny. can we get back to what we were doing?” lucas said, pouting at the older, who nodded and giggled.

//

“xiaojun, what do you want?” lucas asked in cantonese, when xiaojun stared weirdly at him and ten, hands intertwined with each other, while they waited in the hallway of the dorm to head to the company building.

“uh, nothing. what are y’all holding hands for? not that there’s anything wrong with that, though, don’t get me wrong.” xiaojun said cautiously, looking between the two.

“is it not obvious enough ——” ten started, getting cut off by an overly enthusiastic hendery bouncing over to xiaojun’s side, whispering something in his ears and grinning at lucas and ten, before loudly announcing to everyone in the dorm,

“we all support your love, ten and xuxi! luten nation rise ——” 

“luten nation my ass hendery, if i hear that one more time you’ll be sorry i made friends with you when you first entered the company.” with lucas’s hands still entwined with ten’s, he had no choice but to stay put instead of going after hendery like he had originally planned.

“y’all are really cute, you know,” winwin said, leaning on the wall beside the two and putting on his sneakers, “sucks that we’ll have to do deal with y’all daily now, don’t do anything suspicious ——”

“dong sicheng you too, you get your ass right back here, what do you mean don’t do anything suspicious?” ten snapped, albeit with a small smile on his face. the secret was out to all five members, though it wasn’t exactly a secret in the first place, lucas points out after ten whispers in his ear,

“i’m glad, i’m so glad they know now. and i’m even more glad you’re the one i ended up with.”


	11. touch me, tease me, feel me up

first time “sleeping” together

start of 2020 —— seoul, south korea

fuck. who gave ten chittaphon leechaiyapornkul the right to be this. fucking. hot. lucas was literally shaking in his seat, as he watched ten act in front of the camera for their upcoming comeback, awaken the world.

ten was basically eye-fucking the camera, what the fuck? as lucas was about to leave to head to the restroom to take a break from watching ten, he felt a pair of eyes boring into his back. he swiveled on his heels, eyes meeting with ten from across the room. gulping, he gave an awkward smile to ten, who smirked in return as his eyes flitted to lucas’s crotch, biting his lips, before, oh my god. licking his own lips.

lucas felt his face heating up, and somewhere under, his pants were getting a bit too snug for his own liking, as he finally slithered away to the toilet.

ok, ok, hold on lucas. calm the fuck down please, he thought, as he splashed water on his beet red face, in an attempt to distract himself from ten, which was, unfortunately, not working at all.

“xuxi, are you in there?” shit. what was kun even calling him for?

“uhh, yeah, kun ge. give me a second, i-i’ll come out in a minute,” he stuttered, hoping that would do the trick to get kun to leave him alone. apparently not.

the door opened, kun entered and gave lucas a weird look. 

“are you ok? your face is really red,” kun commented, looking worriedly at lucas, but he just brushed it off.

“yeah, kun ge. i’m fine. you can go first, i’ll find you in a second. i was just a little hot, that’s all.”

kun nodded, finally leaving lucas alone in the restroom. he took a deep breath, steadying himself by gripping onto the sink, before giving one last look at himself in front of the mirror and leaving.

//

“xuxi ah~” ten whispered into lucas’s ear, “how was today?”

“it was fine, ten hyung. just fine.”

“you sure about that, xuxi?”

“i mean ——”

“you’re body said otherwise, xuxi.”

shitshitshitshit. what did ten want? wait no, it couldn’t be…

just before lucas could protest, ten had pushed him against the wall of ten and winwin’s room. lucas gasped, ten’s lips immediately pressed on his, the taste of each other mixing together. it was different this time. the kiss was much more than just a simple makeout session, it felt more...hungry. 

lucas carded his fingers through ten’s hair, tilting ten’s head at a better angle and deepening the kiss. he moaned into the kiss when he felt ten’s knees press up on him, causing ten to smirk and pull back, breathless. 

lucas glided his hands across ten’s body, feeling him up from his waist, his chest, his shoulders, finally resting behind his neck. he didn’t know what had gotten into the both of them that day, he could barely think straight as ten stared at him, lust pooling in the older’s eyes.

“what do you want me to do, hyung?”

“touch me.” ten whispered.

“tease me.” ten whimpered.

“feel me up.” ten moaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't want to write anything explicit so i'm so sorry if you thought i was going to write actual smut, you can imagine the rest yourself :)


	12. i know it’s because you care for me

first time fighting/crying in front of each other

february 2020 —— seoul, south korea

lucas was sprawled across the sofa in the dorm’s living room, scrolling through instagram and relaxing after a long day of practising non stop. the last leg of superm’s tour was coming up and the group was squeezing in as much practice as they possibly could.

it was nearly 01:00 when lucas got up from the sofa to go and take a quick shower, brush his teeth and go to bed. he passed by ten and winwin’s room on his way to the toilet when he realised that ten was still practising in his room, as winwin was at 127’s dorm, visiting yuta. shaking his head, lucas pushed the half open door of ten’s room and barged inside.

“ten hyung, you should go to sleep soon. it’s almost 01:00 already.”

“i want more practice, xuxi. you should go to sleep soon, don’t worry about me.”

“no, ten hyung, stop pushing yourself so much. i know you’ll do just fine, and anyways we can go and practise tomorrow. you won’t have enough energy for tomorrow if you don’t sleep soon.”

“i’m being serious, xuxi ah. just go to sleep, i’ll go to sleep soon.”

“ten hyung, stop arguing with me and go to sleep now. you need it.”

lucas was becoming increasingly annoyed with ten, the older’s actions ticking him off more than it normally would. ten had always been one to push himself a little too much, practising non stop until he perfected every single move in the choreography. that morning was not any different. lately, as superm promotions have come to an end, lucas could tell how exhausted ten was every day. from waking up way later than everyone else in the dorm, to the lethargic energy radiating off of him the entire day. everyone, especially lucas knew how well ten would do regardless of how much he practiced, and him overworking himself was definitely not doing any good to him. 

“ten hyung, could you stop being so stubborn and go to sleep for once? you’ve been overworking yourself lately, especially as superm promotions are coming to an end. you know it’s not good for you yet you still do it,” lucas argued, his voice starting to get louder towards the end. 

ten looked even more annoyed, angry even. he couldn’t understand for the life of him why lucas had to bother him so much. it’s not like idols get much sleep in the first place, and it’s his life. he gets to do what he wants to do. or for the most part, as an idol.

“how about you just go to sleep and stop acting so stubborn? it’s my life, xuxi, and i get to do what i want to. stop being so annoying and just, get out.”

lucas was extremely taken aback by what ten had just uttered. he was looking down at the floor, trying to calm himself down, but when he had heard what ten said, his head had snapped up and he looked at ten, who was purposely ignoring him and continued practising. he knew, deep down that he should just let go and let ten off for the night, but he didn’t.

“me? annoying? who’s the one calling me annoying? i’ll say this once, just go to sleep, you need it.”

“i’m here trying to quietly practise, could you just get out? listen to your hyung.”

“don’t use the hyung shit on me ten, you know you need sleep but you don’t want to listen to me.”

“and what about it? it’s not like you can physically force me to sleep.”

“what makes you think i can’t? go and sleep before you force me to.”

“oh, xuxi, if you even dare to put your hand on me, you’ll get it from me.”

“so? i don’t care.”

ten had had enough. he calmly walked to where lucas was, and looked at him.

“get out. now.”

lucas hurriedly left, adrenaline pumping throughout his body as he sat down on his own bed. the adrenaline willed him to fight ten, but he just couldn’t bring himself to. it felt empty, the whole situation. no angry tears, no shouting. it wasn’t like a stereotypical fight. no, it was far from that. but that was precisely what made lucas feel like a hole had been carved out of his heart, in the shape of ten, because just like that, the fight had ended. anticlimactic as it was, lucas felt horrible. absolutely disgusted with himself. he never fought with his hyung, whom he looked up to as if he was his entire universe, but just this once, his instinct to take care of ten took over that calmness that he usually sported, where in an alternate universe, he would have walked away and let ten off. but of course, this wasn’t an alternate universe.

a dark cloud hung over lucas, and all he could think was empty. empty empty empty empty empty empty empty empty empty. without ten he was empty, he wasn’t lucas. the fight was too anticlimactic for his liking, he couldn’t even generate any energy to be angry at ten, and that was the most frustrating part about it. he felt emotionless, and he thought that that was far, far worse than feeling anything at all.

ten on the other hand, had slumped down against the wall, small, insignificant tears springing out of his eyes, dripping slowly down his cheeks. he was just as emotionless as lucas was, if not more. he pulled his knees towards himself, burying his head in them and sitting in silence. how badly he wanted to feel something, anything, against lucas, but nothing came up. a blank result from his search engine. not only was he emotionless, he was drained. it hit him for the first time in months that he was absolutely exhausted. in the worst way possible, he’d realised how much he’d actually pushed himself in the past months. his entire body was aching, his mind was in overdrive. when was the last time he’d sat down and rested? he just wanted it all to stop, he wanted whatever he had back then, he wanted to go home...

//

ten woke up, startled when he realised a pair of arms were wound around his waist, tight almost to the point that it would be uncomfortable, but not quite there yet. he turned slightly, realising he was on his bed and that lucas was beside him. when had he even fallen asleep? and why was lucas here? he manoeuvred a little underneath lucas’s tight grip to face him, finally taking a look at the huge person in front of him. the light streaming in through his bedroom window shined on lucas’s face, his honey tanned skin and newly dyed red hair enrapturing ten, the fight they had the night before almost forgotten.

that’s when ten started crying again. soft sniffles, quiet tears, gradually becoming a stream. he knew people fought, that was obvious to anyone, but that small fight they had the night before, had taken all the energy out of him, made him realise how much lucas cared for him, that he was right about him overworking himself. he tried muffling the sounds, but all the movement still ended up waking lucas up.

lucas looked around, confused and still asleep, but when his eyes landed on ten’s figure, quietly crying into the blanket, a switch in his brain was turned on and he started frantically fussing over ten. he pulled ten up into a sitting position, cradling the older in his arms and drawing circles on his waist.

“ten hyung, are you okay? why are you crying? it’s okay, it’s okay...” lucas murmured in ten’s ears, trying his best to stop the tears from ten’s eyes, the sight making his heart wrench. ten had never cried in front of him only, and he was desperate to make ten feel better.

“it’s, okay...xuxi, ah, it’s fine...i just woke up, and saw you, you know, hugging me and i, i tried to forget about yesterday but i couldn’t, and i was just sad that we even fought like that, even though it was nothing serious, you know and i just didn’t want that to ever happen again...” ten mumbled, hiccups peppering his speech as his sniffles as his tears dried out.

“oh,” lucas said, “oh, uhm...”

“can you forgive me, xuxi ah? i know it’s nothing serious and you would just brush this off but i just wanted to promise you that i’d never say anything bad on purpose. you made me realise that i have been pushing myself too hard, and i know it’s because you care for me that you did that, so thank you, really, xuxi. i needed that reminder.” 

“of course i would forgive you ten...i’m your boyfriend, after all.”

ten giggled, as a pout formed on lucas’s face, before lucas opened his mouth again.

“but i do have one request, ten hyung,” lucas said, a grin threatening to break out on his face.

“give me a kiss and maybe then i’ll forgive you.”


	13. i’m staying up, i don’t wanna come down from your love

18th june 2020 —— seoul, south korea

ten sat opposite lucas at the dining table, both facing the window, quietly admiring the night time scenery. city lights in all different colours adorning the surrounding buildings, cars passing by along the roads adjacent to their dorm.

“xuxi...” ten mumbled, still facing the window.

“yea?” lucas replied, turning to face ten.

“you know how i thanked you for understanding me...me being a really complicated person? during our vlive, earlier today.”

“yeah,” lucas nodded at ten, who still had not turned around to face the younger boy. “what about it?”

“i just wanted to tell you that i really meant it. thank you, you know, for understanding me and being with me all the way for...almost five years now.” ten admitted, slightly flustered at saying that out loud into the quiet of the night, as if the whole world was listening to them and them only. truthfully, ten really felt that way. lucas was his world. his entire universe.

“ah, it’s fine hyung...i should be the one thanking you for being there for me, every step of the way. you’re amazing. you know that right, hyung?” lucas said, smiling at ten softly, watching him. 

lucas reached out to hold ten’s hands gingerly, his big hands enveloping ten’s small ones, as he gently rubbed circles onto ten’s hands.

the two sat there for a while longer, basking in the silence, knowing that no one would come and disturb their peace, at least not for that night.

reminiscing back to when they first met, when they first went out together. when they first hugged, when they first held hands. when lucas took care of ten when he was sick, when they first slept in a bed together. when they confessed and first kissed, when the others found out. when they first fucked, when they first fought. all the first times they’ve had, and many more were to come, they were sure of it.

the cars passed by, the people passed by. the time passed by, the memories passed by. as the two sat there, they both came to a calming, warm realisation, that they’d found home in each other. home. such a weird, yet absolutely thrilling thought that the label could find its way to a person in your life.

finally, ten turned around.

their eyes locked from across the dining table, still holding onto each other’s hands.

“my brain is full of you,” ten whispered softly, his words a wisp of clouds. 

“but what can i do?” he continued, smiling knowingly at lucas’s expectant face.

“i can’t throw away my brain now, can i?” 

//

i'm staying up

i don't wanna come down from your love

we'll get lost together, let me flow

don't ever let me come down from your love

from your love, from your love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all enjoyed this fic! i'm the most proud of this and i'm so happy that i finally posted it uwu  
> kudos and comments would be appreciated :) if there are any specific scenarios you would want me to write for any of the ships i write for (in my bio), feel free to comment below.


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